Fierce Conversations

"In what universe would anonymous feedback, anonymous anything, be considered best practice?"

A leader can be birthed, grown, created, moulded or shaped. One does not always know how to be a great leader, but it is through experience, knowledge, growth, failure and rejection that the best leadership qualities can be found.

In my experience as a leader, I have found that I am a relational leader who thrives on transformation occurring through effective teams- cultivated, moulded and developed through positive feedback. I enjoy being able to work alongside a group of people who have varied skill sets- that are diverse. I enjoy being able to see these skills and to assist in developing them to be the best educators that they can be. I also believe wholeheartedly in differentiated leadership. Where leaders look for the qualities in those around, but also encourage those in the team to excel. I'm not a leader who does everything. I have learnt VERY quickly that a leader who does everything, burns out very quickly. Delegation is key. I have also discovered that building strong teams comes from a deep trust and an openness in communication. Your team members need to feel that they can speak to you about what it is that they need and that you will be open to hear. But to also thank the team, to acknowledge the hard work that they do.

Today I read a chapter of this book from Fierce Conversations by Dr Susan Scott about feedback. As leaders who receive feedback, we need to understand how to accept this graciously, with a thank you, demonstrate a willingness to consider whether the feedback is valid and to graciously accept. I have also discovered that when feedback is given- it shouldn't be given anonymously and that specific feedback should be given with examples, context and done in person. Scott says that face to face feedback is so important for team growth. To be able to discuss the concerns in an open conversation allows for trust to develop and for the person receiving the feedback feels valued and not let down, felt to made inadequate or surprised or even shocked. When teams make decisions that affect you without consultation, the fear of "what am I not doing right", or "can someone do this better?" come to mind- fear sets in.

"We take feedback personally, because it is personal. When someone is giving us feedback says "Its just business", we know that's not the case because our work identities are intertwined with ourselves, the whole person. We feel vulernable- almost like a clam without a shell". Scott, p170.

I have learnt that feedback is invaluable. John Hattie's research is based upon allowing children to be given feedback so that they can become better learners. Carol Dweck's Growth Mindset is based upon the premise that mistakes and failures are valuable building blocks to learn from. However, when leaders are given anonymous 360 feedback, it becomes more about what can be thrown at you - like hurling mud- rather than how we can best support someone who tirelessly works hard for the betterment of the team. For someone who selflessly takes the long hours in so that the team don't have to.

I am valuing what best practice leadership looks like. I am also learning the skills about how to best develop team. To listen to my gut. Not everyone leader above has all the answers. I loved listening to Brene Brown's podcast about Reverse Mentoring- where younger workers are paired with older workmates so that new and insightful ideas can be created and not just the "we've always done to this way".... mentality shines through. Leadership requires grit, guts and determination. Its requires conversations that are normally spoken about behind people's backs, to be spoken about in the open, in a respectful manner. Ask for context, let them finish their thoughts, explore the other person's perspectives, and take responsibility for the impact.

I've had someone keep telling me that "leadership is a lonely road".... and "there's so much loneliness in leadership"..... but I haven't found this at all. But John Maxwell in Change Your World, says that working with a collaborative team is how we move forward into the future. It's a 21st Century learning concept that Guy Claxton celebrates within the Learning Power Approach. Building strong teams that harness diversity is what will enable us to reach new heights. Not looking back on the past, but reaching forward. Sharing ideas, working together and utilising strength and experience. Having conversations that are robust, open, respectful, ones that utilise integrity and build positive ideas are vital!